in (& out of) love

9:41 PM

am i also on your mind
as you are, on mine,
every single second.

i am still in the process of
defining myself
and establishing my own worthiness

as much as i understand that
no one other than myself should possess
the power of evaluating what i'm worth
i have to succumb to the fact that
you have successfully made me feel
important.. and worthy of love..

you have.. given me meaning
or rather..
i have allowed you..
to render me value..

it's all very frightening
and you know me so well..
how i am
easily startled..

i am probably overly self-conscious and sensitive
for my own good

but i cannot ignore the possibility that i am
finding worth in myself through you
and i don't want that..
i don't want to be in such a vulnerable position anymore..

opening up to you is a bittersweet process
it is such a blessing to have someone dear to you
who knows you better than you know yourself..

&before i know it..
dependency came along..
and fear crept in..

i don't regret any decision that i've made thus far
and i am happy, i truly am

perhaps i just care too much.. about the outcomes..
&i am too impatient to wait..

&i am so tired of goodbyes..

i miss you D
heavenisaplaceonearthwithyou