conclusion
9:06 PM
- unless the problem between you and your mom is resolved, we cannot be together- still friends
- moving on
i know i still love you and i will still be waiting for you (unconsciously/consciously)but that is not the main point.
having given ourselves this time frame to take a step back, hopefully we'll mature more and understand each other more as friends.
if you still cannot protect me against your mom, then i suppose it is destined to be this way, that we are not meant to be a couple.
either ways, i am giving you this chance, because i know that i also need this time to think over our relationship. being young and immature as we are, i think it is wiser for us to reconsider our feelings. afterall there's no harm done reassuring ourselves of what we truly want.
i am giving you this chance, too, because i know if i don't and just break off all relations from you is impossible and i'll probably regret it for life. at least i've done my part, and now it is up to you, after a year and a half, to then again fight for our relationship.
if it turns out that your mom is still against it, then that's it. if not, you better make sure that she doesnt give me all those crazy stuffs anymore. if not i won't be so kind and i'll definitely talk back to her and ask my girlfriends to call her xDDD afterall she's the one harrassing me!
stop thinking about the "what ifs" because only i have the right to do so. but i chose otherwise because it is dumb to dwell on things that have not happened. have more faith in us, in yourself. i'm not asking anything of you, it's really up to you.
so hello new best friend, whatever.
and remember to give me my reply a year and a half later, you owe me that.
no matter how things turn out to be, i hope there wont be any hard feelings. because we are sensible and nice people right (:
<3!
and special thanks to...
mom - for calling and comforting me, giving me words of wisdom
sis & allen - all the emails, phonecalls, and msn - enlightened
kristabelle & aik - hope you guys are fine - call me anytime (: i'm here
henny & shufen - thank you so much for staying back with me :D
yi ting - i know, guys are so dumb aren't they :X but ohwells.
tammy - you are the sweetest thing ever!
da ge & er ge - you guys are fabulous. i know that you guys'll understand.
maria - thanks for listening to my problems though you seem annoyed xD hah
and the list goes on...
i know you guys will be supportive of my decision. dont worry i wont allow anyone to hurt me or dampen my mood cos no one is worthy of doing that (:
you guys know that i really love him. and when i go into a relationship i want it to last (die Unendlichkeit) no matter how childish it may sound like. people think that fairy tales and happy endings are just a facade but i try my best to realise my dreams. i am giving this relationship one last shot, of waiting and at the same time living independently, because i know i deserve my own life and i dont want regrets.
waiting isn't really a bad thing, it is merely a healing process, growing up (oh how much i hate it!) but indeed, no matter what the outcome is, i know that i have not lost anything. because, it is his loss (: HAHAHAHA yeah right (:
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
no worries i'm really back to normal and my mind is clear. i wont go back to him UNLESS his mom is sane and i will ALWAYS consult you guys before i make any other decision, okayyy?! (:
MWAH! haha